Yesterday, Golfer (my husband) and I celebrated our 13th Valentine's together. Thirteen years ago yesterday, our conversations about our future and the possibility of marriage shifted from *if* to *when* which brings about an expected moment of relationship evaluation.
You know those couples who never fight, have a bad day or say an unkind word. That's not me and Golfer. We are both very opinionated people and have a decent amount of passion for the things we are opinionated about. We have had really bad days and amazing days.
This is kind of like my relationship with writing. I can have days when everything just clicks, when I'm thrilled with what is coming out of my brain, through my fingers and onto the screen. And other days when I may think not PG thoughts about my brain...fingers...screen...and characters who only live there for now.
So what's the key to success for both of these?
One, I can't imagine my life without either of them. Sure, I may say that my life could be easier, but it wouldn't be as fulfilling.
Two, I have both these things enough in my life that I see them immediately after a disagreement. They are just there and I have to remember that they are there because I put them there. Clearly I had a reason at that time - I just need to remind myself what it was.
With my marriage, that may mean sitting down and talking over the frustrations.
With my WIP, that may mean that I need to go back a few scenes, take some time for revision, and get back to work.
I think everyone who writes knows it isn't the most romantic relationship ever. And most relationships, contrary to what the modern chick flick would have us believe, don't end up in happily ever after because of two tumultuous weeks. They take work and dedication and compromise.
But boy is it ever worth it.
What do you do to keep your relationship with your writing healthy? How do you overcome the troubling issues?