Here's a secret. I really don't like chick flicks. I think the last one I saw was The Proposal, which was just about the right balance for me because most of the movie, the two main characters are just mutually tolerating each other.
It may not come as a surprise that I knew my husband for 13 years before he proposed. We met when I was seven. No, we weren't high school sweethearts :)
I like the books/movies that really show two characters who are complete, who have a drive or passion in their lives, and that passion can be merged if and when they find someone. I think romance needs to be shown in a process, because let's face it, most marriages I know don't have two people break up over every fight, didn't happen in a 2-3 week, or even month, time frame, and none of the really amazing romances END at the conclusion of the wedding.
So you may be surprised to find out that I'm writing Women's Lit. My WIP has a strong romance sub-plot or two, and writing the longer relationship is definitely easier than the newly beginning relationship. But I have noticed that the trend for these stereotypical new relationships is diminishing in many of the YA that has been coming out lately. Several that I have recently read, even with love triangles, are developing the relationship deeper, making it happen slower.
What is it about romance that you like in books and movies? What is it that drives you crazy? What (if you are writing) is the hardest part about making the relationship feel authentic?