Mar 16, 2012

So What about Friendships?

It was interesting to read people's viewpoints on romance last time - some of you got married fast and it has been successful and it would have completely freaked me out.

But that got me thinking, what about friendships in books?

I started thinking about books that had friendships that I really liked - I am the Messenger, The Hourglass Door, The Gemma Doyle Trilogy, and it seems that the friendships in books can have a bit more leeway than romance.

Girls in friendships tend to like each other because of interests, growing up together, hating the same people, etc.

Guys in friendships tend to like each other because of senses of humor, aspirations, hating the same people, etc.

And several from last time said they liked friendships that formed between a guy and a girl, and then took the time to gradually morph into love.  But is it possible for a guy and a girl to really have a friendship that doesn't end in love? Or is the hunger for romance so strong that it would be impossible.

I mean, think about Luke and Lea - they met, similar purpose, victory, she kisses him to spite Han, there are hints at a possible romance, "Luke, I am your father" = crap, she's my sister, sibling relationship.  Why put in even the hint at romance when it toed the line of eww a little already?

What do you think - are there stereotypes friendships have to follow in literature?  Am I way off base with the friendship tendencies?  Is there a friendship in movie or literature that you just love?

14 comments :

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I love stories in which the best friend relationship morphs into something romantic. Of course in real life it never works as simply as in the books. In real life, we're often oblivious that the other person feels that way until it's too late. Or if we have those feelings for the other person, we're afraid they don't share them (and you don't want to admit them in case you lose the friendship). Or you let the romance blossom and in the end both it and the friendship die.

Kyra Lennon said...

I always liked the friendship between Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. Those two never even had a moment where it seemed like they were more than friends. I have often wondered if things would have been different if there was no Ron though.

elizabeth seckman said...

The friendship that pops up first in my mind is the girls in Judy Blume's "Are You There God, It's Me Margaret".
It's been so long since I read the book, but it had such an impact on the pre-teen me.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

According to When Harry Met Sally, the sex thing always gets in the way. But I do think men and women can be friends without it ever going into that area.

Julie Daines said...

Boy-girl friendships are always tricky. I think only rarely can they work. A good example is the one already mentioned with Harry and Hermione. Boy-girl friendships seem to work best in a group of three.

I personally am a huge fan of stories that deal with friendships between brothers. Like in the movie Signs or the TV show Supernatural or the book The Underdogs.

Chantele Sedgwick said...

I don't think it always has to end in romance. I had some great guy friends in high school and we never dated. It just depends on the relationship I guess. :) I do love the long term friendships that blossom into romance though. Call me a sucker for a good love story. ;)

Emily R. King said...

I've had many friendships with guys that didn't end in "love" (or should I say sex). :)
I love my guy pals!

Cassie Mae said...

Harry and Hermione. Just sayin' ;)

And I think the thrill of a friendship blossoming into love is because I think a lot of times it does happen that way. Suddenly you see that person in a different light. Doesn't mean it'll work, but ya, I've had those feelings toward my guy friends before. And one of them I ended up marrying, so there ya go, lol.

Cassie Mae said...

Harry and Hermione. Just sayin' ;)

And I think the thrill of a friendship blossoming into love is because I think a lot of times it does happen that way. Suddenly you see that person in a different light. Doesn't mean it'll work, but ya, I've had those feelings toward my guy friends before. And one of them I ended up marrying, so there ya go, lol.

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

My one son and his girlfriend of four years started out as just friends with a lot of other friends in common. I think their relationship is so solid because they liked each other long before they realized they loved each other.

Jenny S. Morris said...

I love friendships in books. I also love great sibling relationships. I think it can really add to the character and story.

I'm with the others, I love the Harry Hermione relationship. Luke and Lea just shows Lucas' twisted mind. Hehe. But I love what their friendship turns into.

Rena said...

And what's with the short, fat vs. tall, thin juxtaposed friends in disney movies. Poomba and Tamone (spelling?), the clock and the candlestick in Beauty and Beast, and Gus Gus and the thin mouse from Cinderella.

Cliche.

I think some friends can remain friends. And some can never be more than acquaintances--in a starcrossed lovers kind of way.

Sarah Pearson said...

In real life, I believe the opposite sex can be friends. It's very rare in books though, there's almost always some underlying hint of more.

Peggy Eddleman said...

I don't know! Maybe there ARE paths friendships have to take. I have a boy/girl friendship. I hadn't planned on ever taking it anywhere else, since they almost saw each other the same way they would a brother or sister, but I constantly wonder if someday (in a future book) I'll have to explore the possibility of one (or both) liking the other. And I don't know how I feel about that.