When I was in college, I took a semester course studying the works of John Milton. This was taught by the then Poet Laureate of Utah, who has received too many awards to mention here. His emphasis of study to get his PhD was John Milton - the man is brilliant in more ways that I can imagine.
When I started this course, there were about 15 students in the class and within five minutes of the first day, we all knew it was going to be intense. This was further explained when our first major writing assignment was given and we were told that in the DECADES that he had taught the course, he would not need to use both hands to show how many people got A's. His standards were that high. I ended the course with an A.
I have written a 70+ page Master's thesis on teaching writing to high school students that the committee I defended to just really offered words of praise.
I know I can write analytical and literary papers - I have the GPA to prove it. But recently, as I'm working through a novel that is WAY to big for me, I'm questioning if I can write this story as good as it deserves. I think it is a really amazing concept and the characters are developing, revealing a depth that I'm discovering beyond what I plotted. But if it isn't done just right, it's going to flop. It's not the kind of story that can be close - it has to be precise.
More than once I have thought about giving up - about writing one of the other stories that might be easier that are marinating in my head. But that feels just like when my husband and I broke up SEVEN times in a month because we didn't want to get married yet - thought we were too young, but then we couldn't stay away from each other long at all. I can't stay away from this story.
I believe this is what they call a love/hate relationship.
Does anyone have an easy time writing their book or are you like me and experiencing growing pains with your writing?