Dec 31, 2013

Going out with a Whew!

When I was a child, my family and I would often go to my grandparents house in a little town about 20 minutes north of where I lived. It was an old house that I did and still do love, with a HUGE yard and the remnants of a small farm and pens in the back. 

One time when we were there, my uncle also stopped by with his horses. I might have got on and been led around for a minute, but I can't remember. What I do remember is when my youngest sister got on, got led around and then for some reason (fuzzy memories) my uncle lost the reins, the horse lost its patience and starting bucking. I don't think my sister was more than 5-6 years old. I remember the panic in my parent's faces, the fear I felt instantly. And while there was terror in my sister's eyes, she held on to the saddle horn with a death grip unparalleled. 

By the time February 2013 rolled around my house, I knew this year was going to be my own experience of hanging on, and 2013 did in fact prove to be that horse. I set some pretty decent yet ambitious goals at the beginning of the year and right now am just glad that I didn't lose too much ground. 

When my sister got off the horse, she was a bit shaken, but not damaged. In fact, she still loves horses, has a dream of living on a plot that would allow her to have her own, and didn't cry at all when her moment of terror ended. 

Just like her, I've realized that my declaration of 2013, that it was trying to kill me, was in fact false. The horse wasn't trying to kill my sister, it just was coping with what happened to it. For me, 2013 tested me, tried to see what I am of made of. And today, on the last day of this year of holding on, I'm pleased to report that I'm pretty resilient. I've learned some things. I've discovered what is truly important, something that was manifested last week when, after several weeks of wondering what I wanted for Christmas, I realized I was truly satisfied with my life. Having reached that point, I look forward to 2014 with anticipation and hope. Check in tomorrow to see what I've finalized as my ambition for the new year. 


ilima said...

Way to go, Tasha. Beautiful post, and proud of you for owning 2013. :) Can't wait to see what 2014 has in store for you.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You are far tougher than you think! Way to survive 2013. You will face 2014 even stronger now.
Happy New Year, Tasha.

Andrew Leon said...

I think I'm still on my horse. I hope '14 goes well for you.

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

What a great analogy. I'm glad you found all the strength you needed. Happy New Year.